I have a lengthy list of achieved goals and a never-ending list of unachieved ones. The moment I open the first one, I feel proud and happy; yet, these pleasant feelings fade away once I open the second list and disappointment starts to haunt me.
I have always had that loud voice saying “What is next?” inside my head. It feeds my mind with a basic rule: every goal should work as a jumping board to achieve a bigger one. I would then follow that rule without “wasting” time to celebrate what was at hand.
After spending years thinking that way and keeping an open eye on the far destination, I felt something was off. Following that voice misled me, not physically but emotionally. Every time I reach a new goal, I could not taste the expected happiness but disappointment, and that is what the “arrival fallacy” is about.
The Trap of Arrival Fallacy
The arrival fallacy is a psychological trap describing the false assumption that you will experience happiness once you reach a milestone in your life. It pushes you to assume that achieving the next goal would make you overjoyed. But once you reach it, you still feel stressed and disappointed, which worsens your mental state rather than brings positive feelings. This disappointment emerges from the forward-thinking and goal-oriented mindset that never stops to seize the current moment and enjoy it.
According to research, arrival fallacy prevents us from experiencing happiness on the long run, because we always seek what is next. Therefore, a person trapped by this way of thinking would start unhappy to reach a goal they think would cure their sadness, but they end up hopeless and disappointed after achieving that goal.
What Causes Arrival Fallacy?
We live in societies that highlight the importance of achieving goals, earning more money, topping the career ladder, etc. These things do not bring people pure, long-lasting happiness, only ephemeral and shallow good feelings.
On the other hand, what could bring people real, long-lasting happiness is healthy relationships, focusing on the positives, and caring for others, among other things, far away from material things.
Tips for Overcoming Arrival Fallacy
Although experiencing the arrival fallacy is common due to beliefs rooted in our minds from an early age and ideas we are exposed to daily, overcoming it is possible.
Below are five tips to overcome the trap of the arrival fallacy:
- Value the process rather than being laser-focused on the destination. Small wins matter and can keep you motivated and happy more than expected.
- Be present and shut off forward-thinking.
- Insert mindfulness in your daily activities through meditation or taking a few minutes to focus on what you are doing.
- Have warm connections with positive people and let go of annoyances that bring you down.
- Keep a gratitude journal to help you focus on the present and what brings you pure joy. It also works as a shield against stress and depression.
Finally, while arrival fallacy allures the mind with illusory future happiness, fighting it could be as simple as focusing on the present moment and enjoying every single small victory.
References
calm.com
fastcompany.com
verywellmind.com
Cover image by Freepik